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11/19/24

vulnerability is hard. it's almost always worth it, but it's still so goddamn hard.

i've been thinking about worthiness. and like, what it means to be worthy of something. can any of us really be said to be particularly deserving of anything? does it matter what we deserve?

i don't want to explore that further in public, but it's about all i can think about unless i'm actively distracting myself. which is why i'm currently working on about five different projects.

i'm not gonna let this throw me off into an episode, no matter how hard it is to be dealing with. i'll muscle through, like i always do.

it does feel like something has... cracked within me. not entirely broken, but changed. and not for the better.

i'd rather be talking about happier things, but i am determined to make this a true archive. the internet equivalent of some ancient journals, meant for my eyes and anyone who happens to stumble across it. if i squint, i can tell myself i'm the only person visiting, and nobody is reading about how sad i am.

bonuses of being entirely unknown, i guess.

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