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sparrow's home

poetry

recursion.
    fifteen again,
    biggest concerns are the ghosts in my bedroom
    and the 2008 financial collapse.
    
    i'll carve out a place here with my teeth or,
    whatever,
    who cares?
    
    i've just never been so angry or so in love with february
    the way the winter lets her bra strap shimmy off her shoulder
    and kisses me on the mouth, grey
    
    i don't fit in here, alright, everything's a little uncomfortable
    take an x-ray
    see the space under my diaphragm?
    it's been there all along, filled up with pink glitter, let me taste your breath
    
    rain puddles up to my knees, the air is wet and oily
    rainbows shimmer around the old church
    
    i'm walking backwards so we can keep talking,
    haven't seen you in too many years
    sorry babe, the phone's just heavy
    let's do it again, let's be on purpose this time
    there's lipstick on my smile, i'll get it this time
                  
for rachel
    i thought i heard you calling, 
    i came running, sick dog, spaniel at your heels
    oasis girl, moonlit, don't you know i'm ruined?
    
    green light, green glass, red blood aches black against the floor
    
    i don't remember my name today, so i'll pray yours.
    i lost myself somewhere in a winding wire maze
    there's a whisper in my ear that aches like water
    it all goes fuzzy around the edges except for you.
    every horror story is a love story if it hurts enough.
                  
gravitational vignettes
    i think of gravity and lines
    the vibrations between us and how
    when we are held
    pieces shake off and mix up
    maybe love is holding enough of someone within yourself that you don't forget
    quiet vignettes where we fall together like gravity
    moments that imprint themselves upon us like fingerprints in clay
    the moon of me crashing into waves of you
    home is where i've left the most of myself behind
    in places i could trust to find it
    a million ways, a million pieces of dirt stuck beneath my nails
    a hand, a kiss, a breath in sweet blue
    laughter and forgetting
    i will know it when i have my coffee, warm and ready
    and yours
    
twin systems
    the more i touch you, the more i become of you
    electrons pass from atom to atom when i brush my fingers against yours
    i leave a piece of myself behind, too
    a memory of myself held in your body
    
    the more i reach you, the more i become of you
    twin stars in eternal dance
    lovers pulling each other closer draped in velvet sky
    we pull tight and lose a little more of our self-ness to same-ness
    
    the more i watch you, the more i become of you
    i let you pull my tides to shore 
    i'll never have you and you'll never let me go
    it's enough that you pull me to and fro
    
heads or tails