poetry

recursion.

fifteen again,
biggest concerns are the ghosts in my bedroom
and the 2008 financial collapse.

i'll carve out a place here with my teeth or,
whatever,
who cares?

i've just never been so angry or so in love with february
the way the winter lets her bra strap shimmy off her shoulder
and kisses me on the mouth, grey

i don't fit in here, alright, everything's a little uncomfortable
take an x-ray
see the space under my diaphragm?
it's been there all along, filled up with pink glitter, let me taste your breath

rain puddles up to my knees, the air is wet and oily
rainbows shimmer around the old church

i'm walking backwards so we can keep talking,
haven't seen you in too many years
sorry babe, the phone's just heavy
let's do it again, let's be on purpose this time
there's lipstick on my smile, i'll get it this time
              

for rachel

i thought i heard you calling, 
i came running, sick dog, spaniel at your heels
oasis girl, moonlit, don't you know i'm ruined?

green light, green glass, red blood aches black against the floor

i don't remember my name today, so i'll pray yours.
i lost myself somewhere in a winding wire maze
there's a whisper in my ear that aches like water
it all goes fuzzy around the edges except for you.
every horror story is a love story if it hurts enough.
              

gravitational vignettes

i think of gravity and lines
the vibrations between us and how
when we are held
pieces shake off and mix up
maybe love is holding enough of someone within yourself that you don't forget
quiet vignettes where we fall together like gravity
moments that imprint themselves upon us like fingerprints in clay
the moon of me crashing into waves of you
home is where i've left the most of myself behind
in places i could trust to find it
a million ways, a million pieces of dirt stuck beneath my nails
a hand, a kiss, a breath in sweet blue
laughter and forgetting
i will know it when i have my coffee, warm and ready
and yours

twin systems

the more i touch you, the more i become of you
electrons pass from atom to atom when i brush my fingers against yours
i leave a piece of myself behind, too
a memory of myself held in your body

the more i reach you, the more i become of you
twin stars in eternal dance
lovers pulling each other closer draped in velvet sky
we pull tight and lose a little more of our self-ness to same-ness

the more i watch you, the more i become of you
i let you pull my tides to shore 
i'll never have you and you'll never let me go
it's enough that you pull me to and fro

heads or tails